- Go out with friend who is girl
- Have her bring her friends who are girls along.
- Talk to said friends.
- Exchange numbers
- Ask them out.
- ???
- Profit!!!
If she won't do that then:
- Go to bar.
- Start drinking.
- Get confident
- Ask out girl.
- Get Rejected.
- Swallow Sadness
- Ask out less attractive girl
- Get Rejected
- Swallow Sadness
- Talk to other girl
- Give her your number (you don't ask for a girls number, you give them yours. If they like you, they'll text/call. If not then they won't. And this way you can't harrass them with multiple texts after you just met her you clingy fuck.)
- She texts you.
- Ask out to lunch
- She already has plans
- Play it off cool like
- Wait a few days, text occasionally but not all the time you clingy fuck
- your friend is throwing a party, she should stop by.
- Go to party
- Run into her at party.
- More small talk.
- Make joke, she laughs
- She has to go home early because of a big test.
- okay
- Don't text her the next day you clingy fuck
- She texts you the day after, if not then you text her after a while
- Ask her out again
- Sorry, my boyfriend is in town
- (WHAT THE FUCK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHY DIDN'T SHE FUCKING TELL ME-) Oh, it's cool no big deal
- Talk to her occasionally to keep in touch, don't ask her out again, and she can find her own fucking parties since she didn't pay for a fucking cup.
- Go back to bar.
- Get shitfaced.
- Hit on fattest, ugliest girl there.
- Brag to all your friends
- See her sober.
- Decide you're finished with dating and just want to work out and improve yourself.
- Riding bus
- Sitting next to cute girl
- 2000 BONERS SUDDENLY AND FOREVER
- make stupid joke
- She giggles
- have good conversation
- "Here's my stop"
- O-okay I'll see you around!
- You didn't get her number
- You stupid fuck.
- goddamnit.
- Go back to bar
- fatass is there
- She's so glad to see you.
- Try to make friendly small talk, can't make eye contact
- You start texting a lot.
- She leaves.
- You leave
- You decide to stop drinking so much.
- 4 months later.
- Meet cute girl.
- Repeat steps 13-18.
- Drink at party for first time in months
- Get way too drunk
- Cute girl shows up
- "fuck"
- Run to bathroom
- Throw up repeatedly.
- pass out
- Wake up with condom sticking out of your ass
- Decide dating is hard
- Join dating website
- All hideous with children already
- 4 hot girls
- hot girls get spammed with messages every day
- Think you'll send them a witty, original message
- It's not
- They never write back
- delete account because you can't bear the shame
- Run into cute girl with boyfriend
- She's single now.
- Here's your chance
- Don't fuck it up.
- You fucked it up.
- Fuck.
- Swear off dating forever
- Change mind
- Go to step 1.
- Repeat forever.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
How to Start Dating
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)